How I got into typology

Before

Like everyone else I loved online tests. All sorts of online tests. I didn't take them super seriously. I know I took MBTI and Enneagram tests. I remember getting Enneagram 4 as a result. I didn't care all that much. Like yeah I feel super different from everyone and sometimes pity myself. Big deal. Same sort of thing with MBTI. I don't remember the results as well. They probably fluctuated a lot.

I probably scored INTP a few times. I thought it was totally redundant. It was pretty much just another way of calling me autistic. I wanted to escape from being autistic, not get reminded of it. At the same time I obsessively posted on WrongPlanet, an autism forum. It was all about how to get away from my autistic traits and get around them. Sort of to find loopholes.

I guess what I can say is that I was interested in personality, but not through the lens of typology. Mainly through the lens of autism, neurodivergence and just posting online and asking how I came across. I was constantly trying to see how I could come across better. Even though I wasn't into typology, I was kind of trying to be ENFP. I just wanted to seem fun, spontaneous, creative and bubbly. I am creative, but I can't say I'm all that spontaneous.

The beginning

I was on reddit posting on this community. I could see a lot of people really loved typology. I didn't take it all that seriously. I joined in a bit because I wanted to join in. I just found it fun to learn about even though I had my reservations. I thought I was INFP or ENFP. I wanted to be ENFP because I wanted to prove I wasn't introverted. A lot of people see me as introverted, but I didn't necessarily think that fit. I guess I guessed I was one of those types because I can be sensitive, artistic, creative, don't fit in and struggle with productivity. I didn't really know about cognitive functions. When I got linked an arp>ticle on INFP cognitive functions, I still didn't question it. I also got asked if I struggle more with Te or Si and the answer was obviously Te. Mainly because what I knew then was that Te=productivity and being good with step-by-step instructions. While my interpretation of Si was remembering things in the past and sticking to routines. I personally sometimes struggle with being stuck in a rut, so I interpreted that as having better Si. I even asked if it's possible to be oddly fixated on the third function. Someone mentioned the looping function, which I wasn't even aware of. I continued to watch YouTube videos on different types and their cognitive functions. I didn't quite think INFP fit. Mainly because I didn't have this fixation with authenticity everyone talks about.

Socionics

I was on this Discord server. Similar people as that subreddit. People were talking about typology and moved onto socionics. I never heard of it, but they posted a quiz. I love taking quizzes, so why not. It was a weird format with weird questions. I got the result LII (logical intuitive introvert)INTj. I was confused. I thought it must be wrong since I didn't exactly trust online tests and I also thought I could have answered some questions wrong. I posted my results, but I jokingly said I probably didn't do the test right. Then someone actually thought it was accurate and explained why I'm the way I am. That was shocking because I saw myself as some sensitive and whimsical xNFP. I also commented on how I've never considered being an INTJ. I then got corrected and someone said it's actually more common for INTP. Then I got flashbacks of those test results I had in the past. I sort of forgot about them before because I didn't think they were accurate.

"Finding my type"

My journey should have been over, but nope. I joined an MBTI discord and kept asking people if I'm really "logical enough" to be INTP. Not that people knew me, but I often don't see myself as all that logical. I'm actually the type of person who hates encountering logictards on reddit who nitpick every new idea. Am I really one of them? Spending time in the community just filled me with doubt. I thought that maybe I could be an ENTP instead. They often mistype as INTP and apparently if you're unsure if you're introverted or extroverted, you must be an extrovert. At the same time that still didn't seem right, so I kept searching.